Harry EvansWell it should be Potter
by BrittLiTfan101
Summary: James left Lily to play quidditch and now its 15 years later and James still has no idea that he has a son.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Lily Evans and my sons name is Harry James Evans, well his really name is Harry James Potter but I just couldn't let him know that his father left me to go be Irelands new Chaser. So it has just been the two of us for about 14 years. Harry is now 15. I did have friends to help but then I had to leave my world and return to the world that I had left so many years ago. Maybe I should start from the being because you have to be lost.

When I was young I use to dream that a Prince would come and save me from my nightmare that was my life. The first person to seem that made me happy that made me enjoy life was Severus Snape. We been best friends since the day that he told me that I was a witch. When we were together he made me forget that my mom drank to forget that my dad slept with any women that he could get his hands on. Severus never knew about my family, he thought my dad worked a lot. We had to act as if we are the most perfects family known to man. I hated everything about my family. Then I finally get my letter to Hogwarts and I was so happy to leave my family, well not my sister Petunia. She hated that I was leaving her for a whole new world and she couldn't come.

Well at Hogwarts I meet the man that I would fall in love with James Potter. His friends and him soon became the Marauder, and were known for the pranks that they would pull. Mainly on my best friend Severus, who was in Slytherin and me and the Marauders were in Gryffindor. Well our two houses hate each other. Our friendship was very odd to…well everyone in Hogwarts. It's like unspoken rule that our houses should not be very friendly to each other. We stayed best friends till the end of 5th year when he called me a Muddblood and that was the end, we never talked again. I think James got him pretty good for making me cry in front of everyone like that.

In my 7th year I and James became Head Boy and Girl. It seemed like the worst day of my life when I found out that James was Head Boy. I was really hoping that it was going to be Remus; he's the only Marauder that I am friends with. I think I even said why him, why not Remus? Or even Sirius, hell why not Peter? Why do I have to be with Potter? Well it turned into a really good thing that me and James were Head Boy and Girl, I fell in love with him that year. Hogwarts ended with my parents kill half way through the year, ya they sucked at the whole parenting thing but I still loved them. I took the whole thing really hard a James was there for me. We live together after Hogwarts because Petunia blames me for our parents death, and to tell you the truth so do I. We live together till James get to play Chaser for Ireland and had to choose between me or the game. Well he went with the game, we stayed together till her had to move away. We partied with his friends the night before and a month later I found out that I was carrying Harry. Lucky for me I fished my Auror training and I was put a paper work for about a year and half.

I told Sirius and Remus to pick who the Godfather would be. Sirius won, I think that Remus gave it to him. Alice was made the Godmother to Harry and I was made the Godmother to her son Neville. Still send him a birthday and Christmas girt every year even when I was living in the muggle world. My life had seem to be going great even though James didn't hear Harry's first word witch was Padfoot James would hated that, or with first steps, of the first time that he flew on a boom. That's the one that I think James would kill me for. I went into hiding and somehow Sirius get me to have peter as my secret keeper I should have killed him for that one. Well I make it out a live because the Order was always on call by a flick or my wand thank God that Remus came up with that. Voldermort was still got to Harry but only by knocking me out, he couldn't kill him. I guess me not moving saved Harry; I just want to know why the hell he didn't kill me.

I ended up staying with Petunia, I guess seeing that she almost lost her baby sister opened her eyes to forgive me. I stayed there for about two weeks. I didn't get anything about what was happening in the wizarding world till I went back for money and I found out that Sirius had kill Peter. Witch he didn't. Found that out in Harry's 3rd year at Hogwarts I was so happy to hear that. Voldermort came back at the end of Harry's 4th year and my world fell apart everything seemed to be going so good. My dreams for Harry may never happen now. With that I also fear that James will be coming back in to my life with the Order back.

I just hope that Harry came out of this alive, because if he doesn't I have nothing else in my life to keep me alive. My son is my world without him I have no life to live.

**I don't own Harry Potter!**

**I sure would love to have Sirius and Remus...yummy!**

_**R: You think that a werewolf is Yummy?**_

_**Me: Yup it the whole your hot and you read. Reading is really Hot!**_

_**S: So Britt why do you think am hot? Is it my long hair and my dark eyes that you could get lost in?**_

_**Me: Yes and the Bike I love a guy that has a bike.**_

_**R: Anyways when will you update?**_

_**Me: Soon till next time.**_


	2. Summer before 5th year

_**Me: Told you it would be soon Remus.**_

_**R: Yes I can see that.**_

_**S: What the hell are you waiting for can you get the danm story, the true marauders are alive and I want to enjoy it.**_

_**Me: Fine Sirius! On with Harry Evans … Well it should be Potter**_

**Lily POV**

I have been sitting at Grimmauld Place trying to listen to whatever the hell Dumbledore was saying but all I could think is how the hell is this war going to end will Harry have the life that I have dreamed of for him or will I have my son leave me well before his time. As I was thinking about our past together Sirius grabs my hand for some comfort, which means that we are talking about Harry. The first time that has happened I had to leave the room because I had started to sob and yell. I was really only yelling at Dumbledore.

_Flashback_

"_So how do we even know that the boy is telling the truth Albus? I mean for all we know he could just like the fame that he is getting from it" said Snape. I could have killed him for thing my baby boy would lie about something about that._

"_I don't think that Harry would do something like that, Harry has always been one to tell the truth. Don't you think Lily?" Said Albus with a huge smile on his face like everything in the world isn't go to the dogs. It made me sick that he could be so happy right now._

"_Well I don't think that he has ever lied to me and if I ever found out that he has he won't live to see tomorrow" I said trying to lighten the mood. My years dating James I kind of became a Marauder, became very wild in my 6__th__ and 7__th__ year at Hogwarts._

_Then Sirius came to the point about Harry having to fight Voldermort and I knew that this was not going to end well. _

"_We have to really think about the battle that is head of us a 15 year old boy is the one that has to save us. Now I hope that it won't be for w while, but we have to think about if Harry doesn't make it what will we do then? "Sirius was for once in his life serious. He was about to speck again, he see the tears that had started to form in my eyes._

"_Oh lily-pie I am soo…" I cut him off before he could finish._

"_Well maybe if someone didn't allow him to fight, then maybe just maybe we won't have to think about if my son, my baby boy, the only thing that I have left to live for. We wouldn't have *Sob* we….we…" I couldn't fish my rant because I had run out of the room crying and stayed in my room for about a week. Remus, Sirius, Molly and the girls had tried hard to get me out of my room but nothing seemed to work. I only came because I started to smell and I was getting hungry. Sirius started to make jokes about the day I ran out and I started to smile._

_End of Flashback_

I start to get back in to the meeting, I was2 right they we're talking about Harry… well really it was more the Golden Trio that what Sirius and I call Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Sirius wants to let Harry in on everything that the Order has been talking about, and Dumbledore want to keep Harry in the dark. Which is really bad idea my son hates not know, but he really hates it if it has anything to do with him.

"He is going to fight I say that he should know that he knows what the hell he is going to have to face". Said Sirius he was starting to get angry.

"He is just a child and should be a child well he can" Dumbledore said

"Harry stopped being a child the day he started Hogwarts. He stopped the day that he found out how he really got the scar on his head. My son's Childhood has been gone for 5 years Albus. I think that Sirius is right we should just have him join the Order along with Ron and Hermione". I had tried to hold back the sadness in my voice, I couldn't run out crying, I couldn't cry over the fact that my child had no real childhood. Sirius squeezes my hand; it's nice to know that I have someone on my side to help me out with everything.

"I will not have my son join the order he is only 15 and he will be a child as long that he can. Lily it scares me that you would want Harry to join". Molly yelled at everyone mainly me though.

"Molly I don't want to fight with you, but if Harry does join then he would just tell Ron and Hermione everything that is said. Also we all know that they will be at Harry's side when the battle really does happen". I tried to stay as clam as I could

"You know Lily you make my Godson sound like a teenage girl". Sirius always knows when to crack a joke to keep someone from killing other. I think that's hoe James stayed alive for the first 5 years a Hogwarts.

"I think that we have gone on long enough for tonight". Dumbledore said he looked as if he was just as upset with the subject at hand. "I bid you all a goodnight". We all send goodbye to those who were leaving and me Sirius, Remus, and Tonks went into the living room.

Grimmauld Place seemed lonely without Harry; he was staying the summer with Petunia for Dudley and Harry have not seen each other for almost two years. (They are friends because so are Lily and Petunia are seeing each other all the time. They are being true sisters). I been zoning in and out a lot this summer. It seems to be the whole my son is going to die and I can't stop it.

"Oi Lily are you in there".

"Oh sorry Tonks just think well maybe it's more trying to forget". I said laughing at myself.

Sirius gets up and turns up the radio and comes over to me and offers me his hand. I laugh and shake my head at him, but he keeps his hand out to me.

"Come on Lily dance with me, you know you want to". As he was saying this he moved his eyebrows up and down. I laugh and take his hand. We were doing loads of spins, the ones where he would spin me out and then back out. Towards the end of the song it started to slow down and so did we.

"Thanks Sirius you are always great at making me forget everything that I have on my mind" I said smiling up at him

"No problem Lils" He kisses my forehead and we sat back down.

When we sat back down I looked back and forth between Remus and Tonks, they seem to be eye fucking each other. (You have to love Eric from True Blood). I look to Sirius and he had the same look that I must have had on my face. The look was shock because Remus never was the one to well fancy a girl, don't get me wrong he's into girls he would just never show them because of his fury little problem he has once a month.

I and Sirius gave each other a looked that said we should go. We left bidding them goodnight; they didn't say anything back to us. They just kept looking at each other. We went upstairs to bed when I got there Harry's owl Hedwig was there with a letter from my baby.

Mom,

Things are going great I still have been having dreams about that night, but what else would I dream about. Aunt Petunia great so is Dudley we have been hanging out, though Uncle Vernon really haven't said two words to me. I never really liked him so I don't really care. So how are. How is Sirius and Remus? Are Ron and Hermione killing each other yet or are they snogging? I am hoping for the Snogging. Is Ginny good? I hope so I miss her, I want to send her a letter but I think that would be weird to do. I mean am her friend kind of and I… well mom I do like her but she is my best mates sis. So what should I do mom? Okay I should go its late, love you and miss you.

Love your son,

Harry J Evans

P.s I have no idea why I put my full name just felt like it ha-ha night mom.

Oh Harry… wait he likes Ginny just wait till Molly hears this. We have been planning their wedding before Ginny was born. We found out Molly was having a girl and the plans started. I grab a piece of paper and wrote Harry back.

_Harry,_

_Nothing big has been going on here. I am fine so is Sirius, Remus is in love. Ya I know and who might this lucky woman be, it is none other than Tonks. So that seems good. God I wish Ron and Hermione were snogging then maybe we would have some peace in this place. So you like a little red head named Ginny. That's great it makes me so happy to hear that. I think you should write her and when you get back you should tell her how you feel. Maybe then Ron will grow some balls and do the same thing to Hermione. Okay goodnight love, hope you have sweet dreams._

_Love your mother._

_Lily E Evans_

_P.s Only did it because you did ha-ha._

Gave the letter to Hedwig and went to bed preyed the tomorrow would be better.

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

_**J: when the hell do I show up?**_

_**S: Ya I miss my brother way to much I haven't seen him in almost 16 years.**_

_**Me: Soon I just don't know how soon, all I know is Harry has to come back first.**_

_**J&S: Fine we'll wait**_

_**R: I was not eye Fucking Tonks**_

_**Me: Yes you were.**_

_**R: Okay yes I was so what.**_

_**J&S: Remey is in love ohhh**_

_**R: Stop!**_

_**L: Just go back to eye fucking Remus.**_

_**Me: okay till next time Britt**_


	3. Chapter 2

**B: I know it's been a long time since I update.**

**S: Britt babe I missed you **

**B: Aww same Sirius, so how do you feel if I have you and Lily fuck in the next chapter?**

**S: Umm not sure how the fans would feel about that lets ask. **

**B: People how do you feel about Sirius and Lily fucking in the next Chapter?**

**S: okay can we get on with the show**

**B: Yeah By the way I don't own Harry Potter**

I wake the next morning, I just couldn't wait to tell Molly the good news. My son was in love with Ginny… it way too soon to be saying that he likes her. Though that can lead to love to really I and Moll are halfway to our spring wedding pure white with a soft pink. This wedding that I've been planning for my son really has been my wedding. Great now am sad thinking how I have lost the love of my life.

When I and James were together I have already started planning our wedding we had been together since our 7th year and I really had the feeling we were going to be together forever. That was just a dream that I held on to for too long. This dream is the one that I should have given up on when James left me. Really it was only a couple of years ago that I finally came down to see that James and I are over and that he really never loved me. Yet I still to this day love him.

"Molly guess what Harry told me last night?"

What would that be Lily?" Molly was really into cooking right now but I had to tell her now before the other woke up. I get up to help Molly with cooking, I was the only one who could help her others she just shooed them away.

"Harry said last night that he likes Ginny and…"

"What!" Cutting me off and, throwing the flour that she was holding all over the place.

"Yup he's going to tell her when he gets home" Molly and me hug. Then she cleans up the flour with a flick of her wand.

"Morning" said Arthur the giving his wife a kiss be for grabbing the food that Molly had already made for him. "Have to leave now love you Moll, see you at work Lily". And he was gone.

I help Molly finish breakfast and then wake everyone up before getting ready for work but before I could get to my room I hear a scream from Hermione and Ginny's room.

"Girls what's wrong is everything okay?" I said in a rush.\

"Yeah Lily just got a letter… just a letter..." Ginny said with a huge smile on her face this smile was the same that I always had on in my 7th year a Hogwarts.

"Okay just don't do that again or I'll come in firing next time." I said as I was leaving

When I got to my room I saw a letter on my bed, that's my son a total mommy's boy.

"_Mom,_

_Good to hear that everyone is well, still miss everyone, so I did what you said and wrote Ginny. So how was it when she got my letter? Was she happy or did she not really care that I wrote to her. Godric I sound like a girl. See what you did to me mom you made me a girl, that's not right I need more men in my life you know male bonding thing that a child needs. See me dropping hits here about the whole dad thing. You and Sirius have been really close lately, yup another dropping of hits okay so I'll see you tonight mom _

_Love yeah_

_Harry"_

"Really Harry really?" I paper and write back.

"_Harry_

_ She was very happy that you wrote to her, sweetheart you are not a girl you just don't want to be turned down. Yeah so what if me and Sirius have been real close lately, Harry…Sirius sees you as a son and I would hope that you see him as a father because that's as close as you may ever get to a father. I don't think that am every going to fall in love again you dad was it kid. Don't go thinking that your dad and I can every get back together because he never loved me to leave me like he did close to 16 years ago. Now I can't wait to see you to night._

_Love you Baby,_

_Mom"_

I sent the letter and got ready for work. I had training today I hated it most of the young guys always seem to think that they can make a pass at me. Though sometimes they have the old dogs come and help. Today Henry Potter was here, James's dad he though is one of the greatest Auror that I have ever met. The Potter know about Harry and they know that Harry is James's son, they kept it from him because well they are kind of pissed that he didn't stay with me. Well that's what Henry had told me. As far as I know James still knows nothing because he has come after e yelling up a storm.

Work was okay not to many of the boy were hitting on me. Though when one of them try to spank my ass Henry broke his arm, let's just say none of the other guys tried anything else from them on.

When I finally got home I was so happy, that was till I went outside and saw James. He was teaching the boys and Ginny some new broom moves. The Weasley weren't the only ones up there so was Harry I didn't think that he wasn't going to be back till tonight. I felt a kiss on the top of my head.

"Couldn't wait to see him so I went to get him early hope is okay?" said Sirius "Danm he's good I can't wait to see him really play this year."

"Yeah you will love it and it fine was thinking about skipping work to get him myself I missed him so much".

"So he asked Ginny to be his girlfriend as soon as he got here".

"He is his father son I guess".

"Yeah he is". Sirius said and gave me a look as if it was the most horrible thing in the world was to be like James.

"What happened when I was out Sirius?" My mother voice came out that always seemed to get Sirius to tell me anything. One time I him to tell me the surprise party that the boys were planning for me I felt really bad about that but still.

"He thinks I killed Wormtail" and he walked inside as if he had sad nothing. Well let's just say I was beyond pissed.

**S:...**

**B: Sirius are you okay over there?**

**S.. James …. What!**

**R: I wasn't even in this one**

**B: *Baby talk* Sorry **

**S: I think I may cry *leaves**

**B: Okay that's all review please I want to show my sister up and sorry to leave you all like that.**


	4. WHAT!

**B: So Sirius are you okay now?**

**S: NO! My best friend hates me… even though I haven't seen him in years we were bothers.**

**B: its okay maybe things will get better…. Or maybe not.**

**S: You're not making me feel any better.**

**B: Sorry let's just get on with the show.**

How could James think that him and Sirius were like fucking brothers at school and he lived with us when we me and James got a place together. Danm it I really didn't want to be mean mom today. I didn't want to yell I just wanted to be happy to have my son home, and then cry because he would say or do something that James would do.

"MOM!" Harry yelled from the sky as he came flying down as fast as he could.

"Sweetheart! I see that Sirius went and got you. So how was everything? Did you have fun? Know what just tell me everything later, I think we have a meeting after dinner …or is it before…you know what am not really sure".

"Haha mom you need to stop taking. I'll tell you everything tonight with Sirius later I couldn't tell him anything because Ron wanted some tips form James".

"Go play with the boys and Ginny, am going to see if Molly needs any help with dinner". With that Harry was up in the sky.

I walk inside and Remus is trying to claim Sirius down, be it wasn't working. As I walk closer to them I see firewhiskey, the only time we grab the alcohol is when there were no kids in the house. I walk up to them a throw the bottle at the wall.

"LILY! What the hell?" said Sirius, I give him a dirty look the only person who knows about the drinking habits in my family was James. Yeah I do get drunk but I never did with my kid around and I sure the hell am not going to start now.

"Remember the only rule I made when I moved in her Sirius?"

"Yeah Lil no…Oh Lily am sorry I was just pissed about James I wasn't even thinking. Am so sorry" As Sirius was saying this he was giving me his puppy dog eyes that I just can't say no to.

"It's okay so let talk about what happened to day then". I sit down and Sirius tells his story.

"Well I come home after getting Harry from your sister's and James was here". Sirius was about to go on when Remus cut him off.

"You do know how much you sound like a married couple right?" Remus had a huge grin on his face as he said this.

"Don't say that around Harry, he wants a dad. I thought he would be passed this like 5 years ago. He wants me and Sirius to be together I think. So anyway go on".

"Well Lily you do know how good we are together, well I come home a see him and I go to give him a hug. You know a man hug. Well pushes me away and goes 'How could you he was one of our friends, I don't even get why you're working on our side'. Well I just walk away".

"I'll kill him" Needless to say I was pissed.

"Don't Lils your great though. He gives me a sad smile and it almost broke my heart to see it. I lean over and give him a kiss on the check.

"What the hell black first you kill our friend then you take my girl. Were you ever really my friend?" James yells him broom was dropped at his side.

"One Sirius did not kill Wormtail and two I am no longer you girl. I stopped being your girl when you walked out on me". I walk up to him and slapped him hard across the face something I've wanted to do since he walked away from me that night.

"Moony really is the only friend I have left from the old days don't me?" James head was down as he said this.

"Fuck it's your own danm fault Potter!"  
"WAIT YOU GUYS ARE THE MARUDERS!" Yelled the twins

**B: So what did you all think Sirius, Remus, and James can't talk right now so that's all. I need Reviews tell me what you want me to do?**


	5. Dinner

**B: Sorry that it's been so long for me to update now that its summer for me I'll try hard to update. Hopefully it will be once or twice a week.**

"Dinner ready, oh yeah Snape and Minerva will be joining us tonight" Molly said as she came into the dinner her as the rest of the order followed her in. Dinner was fine the twins talk to Sirius about his days at Hogwarts in hope to find some new kind of tricks. Well my son and Ginny were like Tonks and Remus were eye fucking each other that I didn't like. The oddest thing about this dinner was Snape and Potter talking.

"Snape I sorry about what I did to you at Hogwarts I was young and stupid I shouldn't have done that to you. I hope that you could forgive me, but I understand if you can't" James must have fucking lost his mind.

"LILY DO YOU HAVE THAT TRUTH SHIT CUZ THIS IS NOT JAMES!" Sirius screamed jumping up and down well pointing to James.

"Sit down Black and this is James" I just kept looking at Potter as he just told me he has AIDS and that it would be best if I got tested.

"How would you know that my Lily-flower?" said Sirius, James shot him a look that seemed like he was ready to kill him.

"That's why" I said a I pointed to James.

"Oh" with that everyone started talking again. I Just wanted to go to bed because just seeing James made we want to light up and pass out. I knew that I couldn't do that I had the meeting I was not looking forward to at all.

**B: Sorry it was so short I'll make sure the next chapter is like 5 pages. Now review and I have Sirius give you a lap dance **


	6. Meeting,Dancing,Sobbing

**B: Sorry times 10 but with not getting reviews I feel as if people don't like the story but I have been getting story alerts which are so much better so thank you to those who have. Oh yeah am not kill Sirius love him too much to do so.**

Dinner was over and the kids had gone up stairs right as Dumbledore came in to start the meeting. He was the last person that I didn't want to see next to Potter. **(Who else hate Dumbledore I know I can't be the only one.)** Like most meeting I don't even pay attention to them anymore, all I think is I'm losing my baby boy or how can this be happening again. Sirius will hold my hand or rub my back to keep me from having a break down. That the only time that I will come up from my thoughts at all now.

The meeting ended an hour and half later, bed, bed, bed was the only thing that was on my mind. Yet the stupid Marauders had to end my dreams of sleep.

"Lily love come and sit with us" Sirius was always the one to keep me up late talking now he is doing it again and now I could kill him. Yet I went anyways to go and talk to them.

"Lily how is work?" Remus asked as he was eye fucking Tonks those may be the only words that will get out of him for the night and maybe Tonks.

"Work sucks and well am thinking of quitting because I just can't stand it anymore." My eyes on the stairs the whole time longing for my bed.

"Lily you can't quit that would be so stupid and what would Harry think? I'll tell you what he will think; he will think that his mother had stop fighting and will lose his faith in her. Now do you want your son to lose his faith in you? No I didn't think so." Sirius ranted as if he found is little girl making out with her boyfriend. It reminded me how I never had that.

"Your right, your right I won't quit." I said looking at the floor.

We talked for a couple of hours me, Sirius, and James. Remus and Tonks went to bed about an hour in. It seemed nice like we were our sixth year again and I started to hang out with the boys near the middle of the year. Whatever James was pissed off about was with Sirius was forgotten for now and they were talking about the old days at school. Sirius could see that I was upset and he turned up the music and asked me to dance,

While we were dancing James went up to bed he had shot death glares at Sirius. After the song we went to bed Sirius gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me everything was going to be okay and to trust him about it. I so wanted to I wanted to believe that we all were going to make it out alive and live long lives but I just couldn't. That night I went to bed crying well it was more like sobbing.

**B: Ideas on what anyone wants to see would be great it may mean I update faster. =D**


	7. I Quite

_I am so sorry it has taking me so long to update. I moved and then my laptop got fucked up and I lost everything, now am starting up with school. I hope that now am in school I can come up with more ideas for this story._

**S: Why does James hate me so much?**

**B:…**

**S: Britt**

**B… **

So I keep thinking about quieting I suck can take working there anymore. I could get a job in the muggle world again, I was also thinking about going to Muggle School. Now that could really fun. I will have to talk to harry about this first because he might see me quieting the way Sirius does, me giving up.

"Harry" I said softly in hopes to wake Harry and not Ron. It didn't work so I walked into the room and over to his bed lead into his ear.

"Harry baby you have to get up we need to talk."

"What mom" Harry said into his pillow

"Harry get up now we need to talk!" I yelled-whispered into his ear that did the trick he sat up and looked at me. I'm telling if looks could kill my son would have killed his own mother.

"What mom" he said while get out of bed.

"Let's go down stairs and talk so we don't wake Ron."

"Yeah let's not wake Rom that's a great idea but waking me that's fine. I don't need sleep." Ops maybe this was a bad idea.

We sat at the dining table. Harry sitting across from me, his head on the table looking like Remus after the full moon.

"Harry head up like I said we need to talk." Harry picked his head up and looked at me, giving me the same look that James gave me every time he was tired from staying up with Remus and doing school/Marauder work. "I think that am going to quit my job. So how do you feel about it if I did so?"

"Why?"

It's not the same, I have been put on paper work and am not doing what I want which is being out there catching the bad guys." I said looking down.

"I get in mom I do but why are you asking me if it's okay?"

"It's our life not mine, it has stop being my life the day I found out I was having you. That happened to be the one of the best day of my life so don't think otherwise."

"Mom if you hate it all I want you to be his happy and if you not happy then I know that whatever you do will be the best for us." Then he gave me a smile the same smile that James gave me every time that he asked me out.

"Okay so I guess I am quieting" I smiled at him.

"WHAT!" Yelled Sirius and well looking pissed was an understatement. Oh fuck!


	8. My Past

**B: Okay I know looonnnngggggg time no write. Sorry I just didn't feel inspired, luck for all of you there was a **_**Harry Potter **_**weekend and there is other on the 4****th**** so updating hopefully will happen sooner than later.**

**S: Britt babe I missed you!**

**B: Missed you too love.**

Okay so there of course is another meeting tonight and Sirius is pissed at me haven't talked to me all day. I just hope he can before the meeting. If he doesn't that means that I will have to listen to the whole thing and I don't know if I can do that without killing Dumbledore.

"So how long have you and Sirius been seeing each other" James asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"We're not, and will you not say that I don't need Harry hearing that stuff he can get Sirius to ask me out" I say still pissed with him.

"Why don't you want Sirius asking you out? You to seem as if you're married anyways why not just date? I don't get why you act that way with him if you're not even see Sirius" He was starting to piss me off.

"I don't want him to ask me out because he sees it as he has to. He did it before when I got pregnant with Harry see how bad it was for me not to be married and having a baby. We act the way we do because we are good friends and he has been a father to Harry. Also when everything seems to be going to hell he is there for me that why" With that I got up and left.

Today has been hell. James took the kids out to get ice cream or something. Arthur and Molly were shooed away by me seeing as they never have time to be with each other anymore. Tonks is at work. I had off Remus gone with James in hopes to get James to see how wrong he is. So it's only me and Sirius in the house this may be very bad.

I was right, I walk in to the kitchen and on the table was firewhiskey and Sirius it's like he is trying to piss me off.

"WHAT THAT HELL SIRUS!" I could not believe he would to this when just the other night I reminded him.

"I'm a bad person, I hurt everyone. Mom, James, you, Harry should not look up to me. No good, me no good. I should die I should be left alone to die" God he's drunk. I go find the potion to sober him up so we can talk.

"So didn't we so go over about drinking when there are kids?"

"But there are no kids" He shot back

"Yes there is when they can come back at any minute"

"I don't get why you won't let any of us to drink. What's so wrong with it is not like it's going to kill anyone" Well I might.

"I promise myself Harry would never see anyone he love act that why when there drunk"

"Why would you say that, and act what way?"

"Okay I should tell you everything about my childhood the only other person who knows this is James and I don't want you to look or at any different when I tell you got it?'

"Got it?'

"My dad was unfaithful in his marriage to my mom don't ask when. Well my mom would drink to forget what he was doing. When she would drink she was a different person. When she drank she hated me. Called me ugly, that I was something she wished never happened. My dad drank the nights he didn't get any from some slut he was worst he hit. That's why I hate drinking" I took a deep breath and pry that nothing has changed with us.

"Oh Lily if I had…" Sirius started look as he was going to cry.

"Sirius don't… really just don't" I walked out of the hoping he wouldn't follow and I was lucky that he didn't. I went upstairs and cried till I heard the door open and I heard James, Remus and the kids come home. I cleaned myself up and went downstairs.

**B: What do you think? PLEASE TELL **


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